Oh, Macbook Pro.
How I’ll miss you so.
The end is near I know,
And then you’ll have to go.

You served me for 3 years,
Sometimes brought me to tears,
the photoshop beach balls,
I have in my nightmares.

My Final Cut has stalled,
I think I’ve hit a wall,
I’d kill for SSD,
Macbook Pro Woe is Me.

They say that soon you’ll get,
an overhaul I bet.

“Give me that keyboard! Make me thin!”
I here you screaming as they grin,
“Why just him?” you wonder loud, getting hot, nearly implode.

“He’s just Air, so thin, no meat!” “And soon i’ll have him beat !”

Oh Macbook Pro I hope you’re right,
Because I can’t take this fight.
I want the Air but not like this, to cheat on you is not my wish.
You’re getting old, I’m getting scared, that soon you just won’t compare.

The reasoning when Steve will say,
they wanted to keep you this way,
Until this one magical day,
when all of us will gasp and pray…

Steve, won’t you drop this bomb,
This has gone on for way too long,
This hatch closure’s just all wrong, the keyboard’s old, needs to be gone.

Just tell us what we need, you claim to know better than we.
Please release a Macbook Pro, and cure my oh so nerdy woes.

Disclaimer: We know this is extreme nerdism at its best. Apple user whining about products again… big deal…But, it was just too good. We had to post it.

Related posts:

1. Macbook and Macbook Pro Design Overhaul rumors re-surface. New Keyboard 100%.
2. Macbook and Macbook Pro Torn Down, Reveal Gorgeous Internals
3. Unreleased Macbook Pro In Stock With German Retailer?

The group would like you to print out their questionnaire, book a 10 minute slot at your local genius bar (or at any of the 217 Apple Stores in 7 countries worldwide), and start drilling the genius with hard-hitting corporate policy and DRM specific questions. “For each question, give them (the Genius) a score between 1 and 32, with 1 being a really bad answer, and 32 being an answer that really showed insight into the restrictive practices of the iPhone,” they explain.

“The total score will be out of 160 — the IQ level of Einstein, a certified genius. Rate your Genius’s iQ to the same score, and if they get over 130, they’re a genius — any lower than that, and they’re screwed. Glory and infamy awaits!”

They ask you to get the genius’ business card first before any questions take place. If the genius does particularly horrible, Defective by Design claims that they will send prizes and information accordingly. You’ll have the genius’ address and information because it’ll be on the business card you asked for.

Seems like an over-the-top elaborate plan to get information from Apple employees who know nothing to begin with. I myself was offered an Apple Genius position at one point. They offered $17/hour and full benefits and after hearing about the strict policies the company has in place, I turned the job down. I can confidently say that Apple employees at the lower levels (primarily the ones who spend their hours in a retail store, whether it be a flagship store or in a mall), know less about the company than the people that write about the ins and outs of Apple’s practices. If Defective by Design wants to get the real information, they need to interview people, analysts and columnists who have written, studied and dissected Apple’s business models. Not some low level Apple Genius who know what AppleScript is.

According to DBD.org, the 10-minute interaction between you and the Apple Genius should go as follows:

Start by introducing yourself to your Genius.

“I’m from the DRM elimination crew at DefectiveByDesign.org — I’d like to ask you a few questions about the defects Apple has designed into the iPhone 3G.”

1. Why do all developers have to submit their applications to Apple before they can be loaded onto an iPhone?

“Most smartphones, including those by OpenMoko, Nokia, RIM, Palm and even Microsoft, allow applications to come from a variety of sources, including free software developers. Free “as in freedom” software development requires that users and developers be able to share and modify the source code for programs they use. iPhone users are not permitted by Apple to share or load modified versions of programs distributed through the App Store — even when a program’s developer wants users to be able to do this! Apple markets itself as empowering, alternative technology — How does Apple plan to support free software development?”

2. Why does iTunes still contain so much DRM-laden music?

“Services like Amazon, eMusic, Napster, Rhapsody, Play.com and 7digital are all selling music without DRM. A typical response to this might be that Apple has no option to sell media without DRM, but this is simply untrue. Jobs is the largest individual shareholder at Disney, and he could insist that its films be DRM-free. Apple should be leading the way to promote DRM-free music, but instead is lagging behind. What is Apple doing to fix this? If it really is the RIAA’s fault, can you tell me specifically what the RIAA said to Jobs when he asked for the ability to sell DRM-free music?”

3. The iPhone 3G has GPS support. How can users be sure that the GPS cannot be used to track their position, without their permission?

“When the only thing preventing the GPS from being used is software, and the software in question is known only to Apple, why should iPhone users trust Apple? There is a privacy agreement, but how would I ever know that the agreement was violated?

4. In ‘Thoughts on Music’, Steve Jobs said, “it is useful to remember that all iPods play music that is free of any DRM and encoded in ‘open’ licensable formats such as MP3 and AAC”.”

“If Jobs really wants to see open formats, why doesn’t the iPhone play Ogg Vorbis, Ogg Theora video and FLAC? These formats require no licensing costs, and are not encumbered by patents. How does Apple plan to support these formats in the future? Will Apple approve applications for the App Store that support these formats?”

5. Last question. Why can the iPhone 3G only be activated by Apple and AT&T?

“In the United States, the Register of Copyrights has ruled that consumers have the right to unlock their phones and switch to a different carrier. How does Apple plan to remedy this discrepancy?”

NEXT STEPS

Give your Genius their score, your contact information (if you want) and your handout, along with any additional feedback you have about the defects in iPhone 3G. Thank them for their time, and quickly and politely leave the store. Outside the store, distribute some of the flyers and spend some time talking to people about these issues.

Let us know how it went by sending an email to info@defectivebydesign.org with your Genius’s information, score, and your comments.

Defective by Design.org via Apple Insider

Related posts:

1. Give Your iTunes Genius A Few Weeks Before You Complain About It
2. All Existing iPod Classics to Get Genius Playlist Feature
3. Apple Drops Remote Dekstop 3.2.2; Remote Control iPhone App Gets Genius

Here it is:

Below is a video clip from the Apple Special Event in August 2007 in which Apple CEO Steve Jobs unveiled the all-new, redesigned aluminum iMac and the new features in iLife ‘08, iWork ‘08, and .Mac. Keep your eyes and ears peeled (turn up your speakers) around the 18 second mark of the video.

When Steve demos the new iMovie, he shows the crowd different resolution options for them to output their home movies in. Towards the end of the demo, as he shows the “large” resolution option, you can blatantly hear the girl yell “How do you like them apples?” as she swings from the rope.

Give it a listen. It’s rather amusing.

PS: If any of you can find any news as earth shattering as this, please send it in.

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1. [video] The birth of Macintosh.
2. Grand Opening: Apple Store Munich, Images and Video
3. [video] iPhone 3G Maps using real GPS. Looks absolutely stunning.